We're off to New York for the weekend tomorrow after I get back from a Delaware Valley Smart Growth Alliance event Lynn and I are attending on Bob's behalf. Spent the past two days running in circles preparing and I sincerely hope we are able to hold our own. I've really been out of touch with this one particular project, but Bob brought us up to speed today and barring any questions out of left field, we ought to be okay. Fingers crossed!

Lisa and Mike will be with us on Friday night and we're going to a lovely little French place called Gascogne which I read about on Chowhound. Saturday, we're on our own and I suspect we'll do something ethnic. I'd like to go back to Tia Pol in Chelsea, a great tapas joint we've been to in the past, but I'm open minded. Or we could just find some corner bar to inhabit - we love doing stuff like that!

Here's to the weekend!

I'm having a real bout with melancholy this week. The weather is changing and it's getting dark really early and that doesn't help at all, but mostly I'm feeling bad for some of the more important people in my life who have suffered serious and real losses like losing parents and long standing relationships coming to an end. Having been through both experiences, I can empathize. I just want everyone to feel better and loved and secure, but the truth is that they have to go through their trials to get to the other side. Very tough.

There is some happy news on the horizon. We've got a nice trip to Munich coming up after Thanksgiving and we're looking forward to seeing our loved ones over there. We're staying with Lise and Richard and though I'm happy to be seeing them, the one I am most looking forward to seeing is their absolutely beautiful daughter, Stella! I'm also happy to be seeing the Plants and their boy Hugo, who is full of personality. I enjoyed seeing him in Bratislava and here this summer - he's a sweet child, full of happiness and light. Babies are good. It makes me sad that I couldn't give Chris a child. If only we'd gotten together eleven years ago when we first met. But neither of us was ready then - funny how things work, isn't it?

I know, I know, I'm neglecting this thing again. Went to California and never checked back in again. I'm a bad blogger. My best offense is to blog every day - if I leave things go a few days, it's very hard to get back on track.

I'm blasting Bruce Springsteen's "The Rising" right now. They played it during a lot of Barack Obama's campaign appearances and it's a song I've loved for a long time and now it has more significance than ever.

I've been completely emotional since Barack was elected on Tuesday night, alternating between complete euphoria that my country would actually look past color and elect the most amazing candidate we've had in my lifetime, and being completely choked up seeing and hearing the reactions of African-Americans. This is so huge. Seeing people who marched with Martin Luther King with tears streaming down their faces right after the election results were announced is unbelievably moving. I so wish my mother were here to see this. She was on board early, years ago, with Barack, and saw his potential and really talked him up. Hard for me and Lisa not to think of her on Election night as we sat watching the returns come in with the girls, Kerry and Justine, whose interest along with Lily and Jack's as well, thrilled me.

I got the nicest short note from my friend Pete in Munich - "Glad to see that the world can rely on Americans, and not just a few Americans." Boy, did that make me feel good because when I lived there I felt so much that I was being judged by a lot of Europeans because of my godawful Red State fellow citizens who followed Bush blindly. I kept explaining that where I came from the majority of people didn't think like that. I must have explained Blue State/Red State twenty times.

Michelle Obama got completely excoriated when months ago she remarked "For the first time in my adult life, I'm proud of my country" and I totally understood her and today feel the exact same way.

Lots more to post, but not a lot of time. Missed you!

It's Thursday night and there's another Nor'easter ripping up the Coast so Chris' flight is delayed again and I am feeling low. Let's just hope he gets home tonight. We miss him.

Thursday Ten



Stuff I'm listening to today (Warning: Some Old Boyfriend Songs and One Husband Song Ahead - I'm in a remembering kind of mood)



1. Save It For Later - the English Beat - always reminds me of a drunken Saturday afternoon with a boyfriend, sadly now dead, and a good friend, happily still alive and kicking.



2. Shelter - Lone Justice - Great underrated band. Maria McKee's voice is amazing.



3. Falling Slowly - the Frames - Maybe my favorite song of the past five years. I loved the film and I love this song. Makes me cry.



4. Everybody's Changing - Keane - Brings back very happy memories of driving in the car with Chris in Germany with Henry in the back seat.



5. California Stars - Billy Bragg and Wilco - a beautiful song.



6. Building a Mystery - Sarah McLachlan - this is Amr 1997-2002. I could have written this song - if I had a scintilla of talent. "oh you're so beautiful/with an edge and a charm/but so careful/when I'm in your arms"



7.One - U2 - must be Amr day. His birthday is coming up on Saturday, maybe he's climbed into my subconscious.



8. The Weakness in Me - Joan Armatrading - Peter, Peter, Peter.



9. Bobby Jean - Bruce Springsteen - one of his best songs ever.



10. The Late Show - Jackson Browne - 1976 - first love. Still hurts.

This morning's coffee was crazed again with everyone yelling and screaming which is absolutely hilarious because we all agree on politics, the economy and just about everything else. Well, I think Frank is a bit fiscally conservative, but he's socially liberal. Anyway, today's topic was the over 500 point loss on Wall Street and how could we elect McCain for four more years of the same. There's two main agitators - me and Laurel. Laurel, who is the kindest, gentlest, most ethical person around gets so wound up about this that her voice gets tinnier and tinnier. She's fun to watch. My volume, not normally low key, goes WAYYYYY up as well.

Couldn't sleep again last night - was wandering the house. Ugh,

Yesterday got ridiculously hot - the warmest day since July so I have no reason to bitch, yet still...It's cooled off considerably today and the forecast is looking good so I guess I can relax a bit.

We had a great weekend. We did a little socializing with the gang on Saturday night - I made pizzas on demand - but the rest of the weekend was about reconnecting and I feel much better. How Chris deals with my ever changing moods is beyond me. If he were involved with me ten years ago, we probably wouldn't be married today. I was a huge pain in the ass, full of anxieties and depression and not nearly as comfortable in my own skin. He's been good for me and so has time. I find the older I get the less I am sweating the small stuff.

Though I did get into a bit of a vocal disagreement with one of the organizers at the Haddonfield Farmer's Market on Saturday. That thing is a mess and needs to be completely revamped with a new location and a new time. It's absolutely pathetic that a prosperous little town like this one cannot get a decent farmer's market going. This woman accused me of negativity because I made a post on Haddonfield Talks about Javier, a new local restaurant which received $50,000 in incentives from the town (Read: out of our tax dollars) and then received a thrashing from Craig LaBan in the Philadelphia Inquirer. Dude, I call 'em as I see 'em and that place is lousy. I love this town to distraction, have lived here twelve years, came back here from Europe, but am completely baffled by the rah rah cheerleaders who can't handle constructive criticism. I'm living here, paying insanely high taxes, support the school budget even though I do not have children, yet I am "negative." Go figure. I am really trying to find a diplomatic way to discuss this with the Mayor. The Farmer's Market is a wonderful idea, but we're holding it at the same time as the local originator of the concept, Collingswood, which is two towns down, and as such we are competing for vendors. Since they've been at this so long, they've really got a successful little venture going with a great vibe. Ours is awful. Chris and I went to a fabulous farmer's market in San Luis Obispo last September when we were on vacation and we were very impressed with it. There was a bounty of produce, but I guess you should expect that in California. Still, one of the main streets was closed and there were musicians and yummy food and all sorts of stuff happening. I say we have ours on a Friday night when we can attract more vendors on Kings Highway or Mechanic Street and not the Parking Lot of the Presbyterian Church where it is now buried. If we close one of those streets, and sign post it like crazy it will draw people in. I also think the local businesses and restaurants would get a shot in the arm from the increased foot traffic. I'll keep you posted.

I'm feeling much better about everything, though still not thrilled to have Chris away so much. I seem to go through cycles - sometimes I'm fine with it - other times very unhappy. Bottom line, it's not changing - I better learn to live with it.

It's a beautiful morning - a bit chilly even but we all still sat outside the coffee shop. We had a large group today and topic number one - well almost - after Helen's home inspection and my meatloaf recipe :) - was Sarah Palin. Imagine eight to ten people - all of whom agree - screaming and yelling about this on our very proper main street. Really funny. Lots of passers by getting involved - businessmen, moms with strollers, all sorts - it was very animated. We were talking about how the Democrats really need to get aggressive and Laurel mentioned a quote she heard on NPR "Democrats never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity." Hilarious, and sadly very true. We can't blow this.

Traffic has been insane since the kids went back to school. We have wayyyyy too many cars in this small town and half the drivers are completely distracted, making what they think are covert cell phone calls which are against the law or dealing with their kids in the backseat so consequently most drivers do not heed pedestrian crosswalks and do make illegal right turns on red. As a pedestrian and a cyclist, I'm pissed off beyond belief by this behavior which is going unchecked by the cops who seem to be above the law themselves making cell phone calls. It's absurd. I'm also angry because this does not appear to matter to anyone in power. They fight over every little thing in this town - we ahd a montsh long debate about off leash dogs in a park and are currently having a major battle about a new library - but this serious public safety issue just gets swept under the carpet. I stepped into a crosswalk recently and yelled at the four cars who whizzed by me at a very high rate of speed and one of them cursed at me! Nice.

We're headed to this cabin in the Russian River Valley on October 5th with Tom and John and I need it. Chris' insane schedule is taking a toll on both of us and last night we got into a bit of a hassle when he came home from watching football with his friends a little intoxicated. I was upset because I only have three days with him and most of Sunday was a write-off as far as I was concerned. He's upset because this only happens every autumn and he needs to be able to let off some steam. He's absolutely right about this yet I still get annoyed. I know I need to be less of a bitch about this, but truth be told, I'm frustrated by our three day a week marriage.

Aargh. It's going to be a long week....

I've had a splitting headache for the better part of the past two days. I went head to head with someone on one of our work projects on Wednesday and ever since then have had a headache. Can I blame it on verbal jousting or absorbing really misogynistic comments? I'd really love to, but I'm afraid it just has to do with the weather, which though lovely, has been a bit changeable recently. The dust up at work really threw me for a loop and unleashed a torrent of tears the likes of which haven't streamed down my face in ages. I was alone so I shut the door and just sobbed it out. I've had problems with this guy before and though we'd sort of kissed and made up, I knew his apologies were hollow but I just decided to keep things sweet for the sake of workplace harmony. I'll be professionally cool with him but that is all. I'm cocky enough to say out loud that I am well liked and fairly reasonable. His loss.

Have been crazy busy socially since Tara left last week. The weekend was a blur - in every possible way. Friday night was spent celebrating both of my sisters' birthdays - loads of cocktails, Saturday was two parties - Jason's birthday in the afternoon with lots of booze as usual, and poker at night with lots of beer and Sunday was a friend's dad's 70th and we went but kept it relatively real. This week has been all about paying penance for last weekend's excesses.
But never fear, I'm sure we'll be off on a spree this three day weekend...